This is the stupidest movie I’ve ever seen. There’s no pussyfooting around it. Dumbest flick EVER. It’s also unintentionally hilarious in the laugh AT it, never WITH it sense.
This is the sequel to the first Silent Night, Deadly Night, unseen by me, but wait, the first half of this movie is entirely made up of recaps from the first one so it’s like I’m watching TWO movies in one. Awesome!
Flick starts with Ricky, the crazy brother of the crazy killer from movie #1, in an insane asylum for punishing the naughty in this must-watch shooting spree.
“IT’S GARBAGE DAY!” Personally, I think he’s in jail for bad acting, but that’s just me. He laughs as if he’s reading from cue cards: Ha. Ha. Ha. Pause. Ha. Ha. Pause. Ha. Takes deep breath. Muha. Ha. PUNISH!
The plot is straight-forward: Santa Claus Killing Spree. It’s about how two brothers (orphaned when Santa axed their parents and later, bull-whipped by Mother Superior) can go a little cuckoo-cuckoo-crazy and start offing people with toy store crossbows or impaling loan sharks with umbrellas.
On the off chance that you want to watch this movie, I’m going to refrain from giving away the entire plot, partially because there is no plot, but there’s tits and nuns and NAUGHTY nuns.
Whatthefuckery for all! Maybe you want to see topless chicks impaled on antlers or preppy douche bags electrocuted with jumper cables or bobsledders decapitated with copper wires.
Plus, I PEED myself every time Eric Freeman (Ricky) opens his mouth. I don’t like to brag, but I can do a mean impression of this dude’s voice. I’m a blast at parties. Unfortunately, because I CAN’T STOP doing the voice, I don’t get invited to many parties so I sit at home watching Silent Night, Deadly Night 2 and cry myself a river.
My most secret heart’s wish is to sneak up behind my neighbor as he’s wheeling out the trash. “IT’S GAAARBAGE DAY!!!!!!” I will do this every Monday like clockwork. P.S. My neighbors think I’m a dick.
That being said, if you are as uncool as I am and your real life friends find your smartass-y ways obnoxious, you probably have a lot of spare time to squander. If so, you can watch this fine film in its entirety on YouTube. Or you can spare yourself the horror and watch the ‘Garbage Day’ clip for shits and giggles.
Rating wise: ¼ stars.